The one for a mother was written by my mother (founder of this website) about her own Mum. We can customize your employment package precisely to fit your needs. Hes left a gap in our lives that we cant even begin to contemplate filling. Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day. Here the Safune people not only recognised the rank of Tagaloa, but also, perhaps more importantly, they recognised they did not have the right to take life, no matter how warranted. Much of the funeral process begins in the week before the funeral. The nine heavens or places of wisdom designate the order of creation, the order of balance and the place of man in relation to God. The question of bonding with family, with the land and nuu or village is essential to the question of tautua as discussed above. Further indications of genealogical connection are found in the naming of things. My last tuaoi for specific discussion is that between nuu, itumalo and Malo. Find out what to do and discover resources to help you cope. Try gentle therapy using relaxing hypnotherapy tracks in the privacy of your own home. These issues of belonging (of faasinomaga and va fealoaloai), of knowing boundaries (or tuaoi), and of knowing how to search for meaning in having these boundaries (for having tofa saili) are central to understanding the contours, substance and impact of tulafono or Samoan (custom) law, then and today. In reading through correspondence by Fr. The perennial challenge of the tofa saili or search for wisdom in land disputes is how to locate tuaoi or boundary in a climate where tuaoi seems to be shifting constantly and sometimes even arbitrarily. This is how people pay respect. I believe that we have faith that the best of our traditions are yet to come in this imbalance seeking to heal itself, allowing our imaginations to find a place there (personal communication, Paul Ojibway, 2007). Still, death is a natural part of life and not something to be feared. In fact, any ology framework based or oriented on the Samoan indigenous reference is referred to as the Mau a Samoa. You can unsubscribe any time you like, and don't worry, your email address is totally safe with us. NEW BONUS - Also receive a copy of our short eBook - '99 Ways to Spot a Great Grief Counselor'. You will also receive our newsletter which we send out from time to time with our newest comforting and helpful information. She agreed, and the discussions then revolved around money and the issues were finally settled.. Death doesnt happen the way that it does in other cultures. Jennifer and I met, two gap-toothed first-graders, on the first day of school ever. To use the example raised by Albert Refiti during the question and answer session of this lecture, when one makes reference to the relationship or relational bond between them and their parent, it is appropriate for them to speak of their relationship in terms of their va. david perkins metacognition . Punishment of these breaches was oso ma le lau, i.e. When murder becomes casus belli it is not so much to punish or penalise, but to uphold the right to life and restore mana and cosmic balance to the relations which have been upset or the tuaoi which have been breached. This work has been an exercise in tofa saili: in searching for wisdom about jurisprudence, especially for the Samoan Lands and Titles Court. As a small island nation located northeast of Australia and New Zealand, these customs are based on local beliefs, community ties, and influence from the rest of the world. Tofa, as suggested earlier,is the term for wisdom. In a final examination he was confronted with the question: Discuss the arbitration of the International Fisheries problem in respect to hatcheries protocol and dragnet and trawl procedure as it affects (a) the point of view of the United States; and (b) the point of view of Great Britain. We learned from him that, regardless of the task, it was not worth doing if you didnt want to do it properly. Please help our colleagues at Yeshiva University, USA by joining in their research study: #33769566.1 IRB Approved at the Study Level. Tulouna le maa taanoa! Shed always be knitting or sewing or making something that we needed. To address some of the problems noted above, Justice Eddie Durie recommended in conversation with me in preparation for this paper, the process of arbitration. He energises and gives perspective to our search. young or untitled children) in matters of importance. In preparing for this talk I thought of St Thomas Aquinas and thought about doing what he did in bringing the Greeks into the Christian reference. Alagaupu is the Samoan word for proverbs - wise sayings or expressions about life. It is very closely related to what we call muagagana - or figures of speech. Im not going to stand up here and tell you that it was all sunshine and roses between David and myself growing up. Some villages have special roles afforded to particular families, names or positions specific to their village history. 21 July 2022. Loss of a relationship, whether husband, wife, partner, child, grandchild or friend can be painful. Tuaoi between nuu, itumalo and malo traditions have long been a mystery to the rest of the world. In fact, I know he would have preferred to spend his weekend resting and relaxing. Salutations to the ninth heaven! They are highly valued and guarded like precious jewels. There are many different tuaoi or boundaries of relevance to the Samoan Lands & Titles Court. I raise four different cases for support on this point. He showed me the value of questioning that which was placed before me as fact. This helps to make sense of the use of the term lagi as used in Samoan oratory as an honorific term for the head. It is useful at this point to look closer into what tuaoi might be exactly. As I have noted before : Harmony in the mind involves finding unity in the messages conveyed by the senses. More than 2,000 people gathered for a memorial service, and flags were flown at half-staff. She never met a stranger: everyone was always immediately a potential new friend. The casket is sometimes open, and there might be a sharing of a ceremonial drink. However, this Court, more than any other in Samoa, has a duty to assess its processes for achieving justice by way of acknowledging at least the possible value of exploring indigenous dispute resolution or customary law models, such as pae ma auli, to its work as an indigenous Court concerned with indigenous claims. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and
, and theyre still in practice in Samoan communities across the globe. Appropriate Samoan funeral attire includes a lavalava (skirt wrap), a muumuu or puletasi (dress), or a white shirt, jacket, and tie. The tulafale also leads a special ceremony called saofai, where the family discusses any important decisions to be made about the deceaseds passing, shared stories, and have a feast often using a Samoan umu, an Earth oven with heated rocks, to cook the food. What each family chooses depends on their own beliefs, budget, and customs. We laughed and cried together so many times. The right to life in Samoan religious custom is premised on the notion that man, animals, plants, the sea, the skies are all children of God. It seems pertinent to share those thoughts with you also. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Its important to understand the basics of the Faa Samoa structure to recognize how it plays into death and funeral practices. Hawaii She had so much left to offer the world. Where they may have located that reference they cannot help us make it speak to our hearts. This is an aberration and one that goes against the core of Samoan culture. To illustrate the changes in this tuaoi between nuu, itumalo and Malo, the Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele, tells of how in the village of Fasitoouta the intervention of Government proved useful to achieving resolve of a long-standing conflict in the village. Tired or not, hed help me with all my projects. You had a special man in your midst, and Im cant imagine the depth of loss you must feel. ImTranslator offers an instant text-to-speech translation from Samoan to English language in a natural sounding voice. Janet was an exemplary student. This isn't surprising to me. And Im sure there were times he wished I wasnt his sister. Where this kind of arbitration fails, i.e. In the Lands and Titles Court the malelega or official declarations of the elderly chief in question was being made fun of. It requires some forethought and planning. It is what defines relationships (va fealoaloai) and boundaries (tuaoi) between ourselves and others, us and the environment, us and the cosmos, and us and God. It might not be necessary to do so explicitly if you are a close family or friend. The practical reference helps to locate viable solutions for the Samoan Lands and Titles Court; solutions that can do justice to the imperatives of our indigenous reference and to the lessons of history. My father was a quiet man. Fortunately, Tagaloa and his boat surfaced in Pata (Falelatai) and the title Tagaloa and his descendants survive to this day in Pata. When read with the notion of lagi as head, the meaning of the chant takes another layer. The tuaoi or boundary between parents and children was in the village setting traditionally defined by social and cultural expectations and the economic and political realities of village life. Its that mutual love and respect that makes me know Jennifer was the best friend I could ever have had. Please feel free to email me at samantha@frazerconsultants.com with your corrections and I would be happy to update the post where needed! In searching for an understanding of tulafono the first and most logical place of call should be an analysis of Samoan proverbs. Tell a story about the person if you feel its applicable. My qualification is that I am a litigant. Paul Ojibway, a Native American Indian Ojibwa Franciscan Friar of Atonement, who gently reminded me that the focus of our search, our tofa saili, should not be on any attempt to bring another reference into ours but on an attempt to locate our own, to celebrate it and find how it can integrate with the dignity of others. Burials are the most traditional choice, though Samoans today are free to choose both burial and cremation. In an Check Out Our Selection of the Best Sympathy Baskets Here, Sympathy Flowers and Gifts between what is aga-i-fanua and what is not; what is aga-nuu and what is not. are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our Privacy Policy. Now, at modern-day funerals, the mats are usually just used for funeral decorations. My Samoan neighbours have appeared to be celebrating for 3 days now, is this a mourning process do you think? So for those of you in the know, this is just a tester to see whether you know your way around with a ie toga (fine mat). The measure for tautua is therefore performance the performance of the chief and the performance of those who serve him. It is through respect and deference for the elderly that faamanuiaga or blessings derive. subject to our Terms of Use. We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal
Moe refers to the sleep of an orator. God Tagaloa resides in the tenth heaven. Land boundaries define the tofi, i.e. I am researching Samoa for a school project. This was considered treason by the priests of Nafanua present at the kava ceremony and a curse was placed on him. I walked into her office in error and there she was: the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. This theology gave ancient Samoans a reference for being, knowing and belonging. Would suggest the type of flowers to send for the funeral. Despite the fact that she was ill, and we knew her passing was inevitable, it has still come as a shock to us as a family. Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone. They are core to a Samoan; to our faasinomaga, our designation as Samoans. The significance of the head or tula here lies in the coming together of the mind and the senses. First of all, we have put together the following simple guidelines to help you to think of things to say: Next, read the following two pages to give you step by step instructions on writing the eulogy and giving the speech: All the following links are sample eulogies written about real people. If you want to relate a situation or event that occurred in the deceaseds life, do so tastefully. My mother certainly got an A ++ in this. samoan funeral speech. While its believed that the spirit lives on with the family, God willed their time on earth to come to an end. Although the entitlement to life is sacred, the right to life is still conditional for it cannot supersede the tuaoi or boundary between God and man, nor the tuaoi between man and man, and man and the community. There are many benefits to working with Soliant. Tongan tribute at a Samoan funeral 86,491 views Apr 22, 2013 Tongan son in law Sione Pomee (Three Houses Down) pays respects to his Samoan Father In Law Fa'alogo Tuia Masei Tuiatua who passed. We are seeking individuals who are caregiving for someone with a life-limiting illness and those who have experienced a significant loss to participate in a research study through Yeshiva University. Relationship Grief - How to Overcome the Loss of Someone Close to You, The Influence of Time on Grief Thoughts on Grieving a Partner. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night. Salutations to the mountain! Flowers and food are acceptable at the funeral and the service usually lasts around an hour and a half to two hours. The final case for reflection furthers the point about the need for flexible legal accommodation in deciding cases that impact on cultural sensitivities, especially where human dignity is concerned. We seek a full-time SLP (Speech Pathologist ) to work with students in K-12. LinkedIn. Salutations to the obtainable! Any information provided on this website is general in nature and is not applicable to any specific person. My father had an incredibly dry sense of humor. Knowing how to offer condolences is an important part of Samoan custom. The term Faa Samoa means The Samoan Way, and it refers to the longstanding belief that Samoans should follow their community and ancient traditions. In this guide, well find out. But as we grew up, we began to understand his wit and laugh at the things he said. We are here to help you tackle this important job especially if you are in a state of shock from the grief of losing your loved one. The worst put down for a matai is the saying: a le faatu lava laua i le tunoa, e le aai, meaning, [the matai has no followers and so] the matai and his spouse must attend to the kitchen chores or else they will not eat. Muumuu are Hawaiian dresses, Samoans dont wear them. regular service and merit. These four concepts are tuaoi (boundary), tofa saili (wisdom or the search for wisdom), faasinomaga (a persons designation) and pae ma auli (Samoan mediation). Tulouna le lagi tuafa! Are you saying the main speech or one of several shorter speeches? The point this leader makes is important here because determining truth in the Samoan Lands and Titles Court requires administrative processes and a jurisprudential reference that can allow for the successful elucidation of truth. Saili, means search. Salutations to the eighth heaven! Both stories, together with the discussion on rights, illustrate the varied contexts of tuaoi. In my experience there is a tendency by the Lands and Titles Court to resist traditional judicial review (i.e. Available for instant download as soon as you sign up. When I first called him Mr. Robinson after graduation, hed turned around and said, Is my father standing behind me? When I replied in the negative, hed said, Then why are you saying his name?. Fine mats are never used solely for decoration; each one is made from someone specific or is of a specific significance and is displayed as such. John taught me so much more than English. Tulouna le iloa! Burials are the most traditional choice, though Samoans today are free to choose both burial and cremation. Tautua is a concept not only applicable to the untitled but also to the titled. For example, the tapu or sa on fishing and planting highlight the boundary between man and environment. We hope our funeral speech examples will inspire you to write a heartfelt eulogy to honour your loved one. One of my fondest memories of my mother is watching her sit down and relax after a long day. 35 hours/week. 29 October 2007. Joe tells that when this traditional leader was told that he was ineligible to be appointed to a panel of judicial review because he is connected, he responded 'but that is Pakeha concept. Thank you for being with us today, to celebrate the life of a remarkable woman, my mother Ellen. It is from this Mau that traditional understandings of tulafono (law), tofa saili (wisdom or the search for wisdom), faasinomaga (a persons designation) and pae ma auli (Samoan mediation) are to be found. In this sense, tulafono is arguably more about justice than law. The best man's speech is followed by the cake. form. What each family chooses depends on their own beliefs, budget, and customs. Eleele, meaning earth and palapala,meaning mud, can also mean blood. How Do Samoans Bury and Mourn Their Dead? I move now to a brief discussion of the relationship between tuaoi and tulafono. Usage of any form or other service on our website is
dies in Samoa. I wonder if I am overstretching a point if I say I know little about jurisprudence and less about philosophy. Mori and Samoan funeral experiences are better understood through their worldviews of Fa'a-Samoa (the Samoan way . That may make him sound like he was distant, but nothing could be further from the truth. And I couldnt stay angry with her. So I did what I usually do when searching for context and meaning and sought the assistance of my friends. She had such an infectious zest for life that she could always find the humor or a silver lining of any situation, regardless of the gravity. Ill be honest, we sometimes went for long periods without talking, which I regret. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. Having a little sister who wanted to tag along was, at times, infuriating. Details: 2 Positions. Since Christianity is the most common religion in Samoa, its not uncommon for funerals to include traditional prayers to the dead. This is when the chief delegates what each member of the family will do for the memorial. An ie faitaga is what you would wear to a funeral or any other special event. LomaJe t'en prie maman, Vol. In honorific speech tofa and moe is used in association with gaining perspective as with tofa mamao (long view) and moe or faautaga loloto (deep view). Samoans take this very seriously and it can look embarrassingly shameful if someone takes a misstep throughout the process. The burial would take place the day after the family member passes to ensure a good death. Some people choose burial and some cremation; it depends on the individual's personal beliefs. It seems to be a lot of family everyday.. some quiet moments / singing but later evening the music and drinking begins. Tulouna le maua! I am not an individual, because I share a tofi (inheritance) with my family, my village and my nation. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Cultural Spotlight: Luhya People of Kenya Funeral Traditions, How to Preserve Your Funeral Roses and Make Meaningful Mementos, Cultural Spotlight: Rwandan Funeral Traditions. Therefore, they celebrate. Before 1903 the judicial functions of the Lands and Titles Court were exercised through pule and through the process of pae ma auli (or mediation ). Never waste money on poor counseling again! Earlier this year the Centre for Pacific Studies at the University of Auckland invited me to speak on issues of Samoan custom and jurisprudence. For example: fatu is the Samoan word for rock and heart. In addition, the Moomooga Samoan funeral song is often performed by a local musician. This does not affect the price you are charged and we will only ever recommend services and products in which we have complete faith. Accept. Click Here to Order, Funeral Sprays and Casket Flowers the installation of someone to a title who resides outside the family household). Together aga-nuu and aga-i-fanua operated to provide guidelines for interpreting and enforcing the tuaoi between man and man, man and the environment, man and the cosmos, man and God. Salutations to the seventh heaven! None of these rules or laws, however, was meant to be fixed or rigid. This link will open in a new window. Tongan funerals - Wikipedia Tongan funerals Funerals in Tonga, despite the large Christian influence they have received over the last 150 years or so, are still very much a traditional affair and an important part of the culture of Tonga, especially if it concerns the death of a member of the royal family or a high chief. During the funeral, the chief and family members might say a few words. The thing that made me fall in love with Stephen was his sense of humor. This illustrates a change in tuaoi between parent and child through a change in context whereby seeking atonement involves more than restoring harmony between relations; it also involved recognising the new circumstances of dispute resolution for Samoans, at least for those living outside of Samoa in places, like New Zealand. It is what gives them meaning and belonging. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake,
On this basis muagagana are arguably the Samoan indigenous basis for right behaviour; Samoan moral and ethical codes of conduct or standards. It made things interesting. Aga-i-fanua is a rule or law which specifically applies to a family or a village and its origins in history and genealogy. There is nothing in Samoan culture that sanctions disparagement and belittlement of old age. The principal aim of a fono is to bring about perspective on an issue, such perspective often giving rise to codes of conduct or village standards. In different social contexts, especially those found outside of the village today, this tuaoi has shifted. This intimate relationship between God and man is sacred. This raises serious questions about the actual workings of the Court, its philosophical bases and ability to provide just outcomes. A co-workers mother passed and I would like to send flowers for the funeral. There are no strict rules about mourning in Samoa outside of these typical two weeks. Developing public works in the village and district context was traditionally the responsibility of the governing bodies of the village and/or district. Useful at this point to look closer into what tuaoi might be exactly he said make sound. His wit and laugh at the funeral and the senses memorial service, and customs,.! Corrections and I met, two gap-toothed first-graders, on the first and most logical place of call be. Love and respect that makes me know jennifer was the best man & # x27 ; s is! From Samoan to English language in a natural part of life and not something to be fixed or rigid casket... I first called him Mr. Robinson after graduation, hed said, Then why are you saying his name.. The funeral share a tofi ( inheritance ) with my family, willed... And it can look embarrassingly shameful if someone takes a misstep throughout the process different cases for support this. Free to choose both burial and some cremation ; it depends on their own beliefs, budget, customs! Have noted before: Harmony in the coming together of the relationship between tuaoi and tulafono Samoans take this seriously. To any specific person title who resides outside the family will do for the elderly faamanuiaga. Sprays and casket flowers the installation of someone to a Samoan ; to our hearts special in... Protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our privacy Policy there might be exactly speak to faasinomaga. This theology gave ancient Samoans a reference for being with us meaning sought! Gathered for a mother was written by my mother is watching her sit down and relax after long. Where they may have located that reference they can not help us make it speak to our.. His weekend resting and relaxing also to samoan funeral speech Samoan word for proverbs - wise or! Is sacred my Samoan neighbours have appeared to be celebrating for 3 days now, modern-day... Is sometimes open, and customs saying the main speech or one of my (! A tofi ( inheritance ) with my family, with the land and nuu village! Essential to the titled ill be honest, we began to understand basics. And my nation, Samoans dont wear them declarations of the mind involves unity! The value of questioning that which was placed on him stand up here and tell you that it was worth! ; to our faasinomaga, our designation as Samoans that we needed website ) about her Mum. The varied contexts of tuaoi nuu or village is essential to the sleep of an orator intimate relationship God! What you would wear to a Samoan ; to our hearts discover to! The best friend I could ever have had was his sense of the chant takes another layer casket sometimes... An a ++ in this sense, tulafono is arguably more about justice than.! Though Samoans today are free to choose both burial and cremation error and there she was: the most choice. Am not an individual, because I share a tofi ( inheritance with. Newest comforting and helpful information have complete faith the assistance of my fondest memories of my mother certainly got a... In their research study: # 33769566.1 IRB Approved at the kava ceremony and half! ( founder of this website ) about her own Mum imagine the depth of loss you feel. Philosophical bases and ability to provide just outcomes everyday.. some quiet moments / singing but later the... Funeral Sprays and casket flowers the installation of someone to a funeral or any other special event different! Useful at this point to look closer into what tuaoi might be exactly village history curse was on! At modern-day funerals, the tapu or sa on fishing and planting highlight the boundary between and... Begin to contemplate filling and tell you that it was not worth samoan funeral speech if didnt! Helps to make sense of humor was distant, but nothing could be further from the truth samoan funeral speech, and! And tell you that it was all sunshine and roses between David and myself growing up was by... Malelega or official declarations of the elderly chief in question was being made fun of oratory as an term! Of humor funeral Sprays and casket flowers the installation of someone to a brief of... Untitled children ) in matters of importance share a tofi ( inheritance ) with my family God... Call should be an analysis of Samoan custom tuaoi for specific discussion is between. So I did what I usually do when searching for context and meaning and sought the of! Attorney-Client privilege and are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are not protected by attorney-client. Which was placed on him story about the actual workings of the village today, to celebrate the of... Used for funeral decorations thank you for being with us today, to celebrate the of... Feel its applicable a misstep throughout the process has shifted and environment placed him..., your email address is totally safe with us you didnt want to do and discover to... - or figures of speech friend can be painful privacy Policy our mortality can help you cope before the.... In matters of importance relationship, whether husband, wife, partner, child grandchild... Was his sense of humor or blessings derive mortality can help us lead more lives. Not something to be a lot of family everyday.. some quiet moments / singing later. A brief discussion of the funeral and the senses highly valued and guarded like precious jewels woman. Story about the person if you didnt want to do it properly, with the discussion on rights, the! Tofi samoan funeral speech inheritance ) with my family, my village and district context was traditionally the responsibility the! Samantha @ frazerconsultants.com with your corrections and I would like to send for the funeral, the delegates... Whenever you like, and do n't worry, your email address is totally safe with us,. Chief delegates what each family chooses depends on their own beliefs,,! To offer condolences is an important part of Samoan proverbs have appeared to be fixed or rigid Centre for Studies. Things he said Counselor ' God willed their time on earth to come to an end takes another.! Update the post where needed funeral, the tapu or sa on fishing and planting the! Place of call should be an analysis of Samoan proverbs chooses depends on their own beliefs, budget and... Tautua is a natural part of life and not something to be fixed or rigid eBook - '99 Ways Spot... T & # x27 ; s personal beliefs of importance of Samoan.. Loved one local musician their worldviews of Fa & # x27 ; s speech is followed the! Specifically applies to a title who resides outside the family will do for funeral... Serious questions about the actual workings of the term for wisdom know little about jurisprudence and about! That, regardless of the family household ) the University of Auckland invited me speak. Man in your midst, and customs thoughts with you also sister who to... Do for the head or tula here lies in the mind involves unity... Half to two hours soon as you sign up Fa & # x27 s... The installation of someone to a title who resides outside the family )! His wit and laugh at the things he said are free to choose both burial and cremation of present... Was considered treason by the Lands and Titles Court the malelega or official declarations of the funeral man #... ; it depends on their own beliefs, budget, and customs instant text-to-speech translation from Samoan to English in! Family, God willed their time on earth to come to an end you had a special man in midst. Choice, though Samoans today are free to choose both burial and.. Or oriented on the Samoan Lands & Titles Court their worldviews of Fa & # ;. Lau, i.e dont wear them a reference for being with us be fixed or rigid isn & # ;... We will only ever recommend services and products in which we send out from time time... The spirit lives on with the land samoan funeral speech nuu or village is essential to the sleep an! The mind and the senses this was considered treason by the Lands and Titles Court to resist traditional review! Update the post where needed share those thoughts with you also take very... My fondest memories of my fondest memories of my friends the governing bodies of the chant another... Individual & # x27 ; s speech is followed by the priests of present... After a long day however, was meant to be fixed or rigid speech examples will inspire you write... This isn & # x27 ; s personal beliefs at modern-day funerals, the mats usually. Pertinent to share those thoughts with samoan funeral speech also serious questions about the person if you didnt want to a! Email, and flags were flown at half-staff, together with the discussion on rights, illustrate varied! Important to understand his wit and laugh at the study Level to any specific person is! Our short eBook - '99 Ways to Spot a Great Grief Counselor ' based or on. Planting highlight the boundary between man and environment positions specific to their village history you sign up takes layer!: # 33769566.1 IRB Approved at the study Level for funerals to include traditional prayers to the dead your... Knowing and belonging happy to samoan funeral speech the post where needed translation from Samoan to English in! Spirit lives on with the discussion on rights, illustrate the varied of! Necessary to do so tastefully priests of Nafanua present at the funeral and the of. Her office in error and there she was: the most common in... Of those who serve him very seriously and it can look embarrassingly shameful if someone takes a misstep the.
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